An eventful journey

Of late, my journey to my hometown is becoming  very interesting. Almost every trip to my hometown in the last six months has provided me with some remarkable experience. During the last trip, as we were waiting in the lounge, we happened to see a eve teaser in action. Of all the women in the hall, he chose to tease a women police officer in mufti! The rest, as they say, was history. We witnessed some of the finest action scenes by the police officer, bringing back memories of Vijayashanthi movies of the 90’s. But this time, me and my wife had an equally exciting train journey.

 

It all started when a group of eunuchs entered the train and started asking for money. Having experienced this situation before, during my college days, near Nagpur and Hazrat Nizamuddin Railway stations, I was unperturbed. But after sometime, the eunuch’s turned violent and started hitting the passengers! My wife, who didn’t expect this situation in train, got scared and forced me to give a 10 rupee note to a eunuch so that they leave the place. After the incident, we thought we can sleep in peace, but we didn’t know that the worst was yet to come!

 

A man entered the coach, with forehead full of holy ash(vibuthi), with a briefcase in one hand and a bottle of liquor on the other! He kept his briefcase on a seat, opened it and took out a black coat. Only then we realized that he was the Train Ticket Examiner for our Coach! He struggled to stand steady (even while the train was stationary) and was uttering “philosophy” of life, as expected from a person in high ‘spirits’. He even misbehaved with a woman in the train, but the strangest thing was that the woman didn’t react. It seems that the TTE was her boss in the office (possible she was also a railway employee) and he has promised her a free travel to Chennai. Once his nuisance in the form of words and actions became unbearable, everyone realized something had to be done. Myself and another passenger started looking for a Railway protection force (RPF) constable, but to our utter dismay, we didn’t find even a single police after searching through about 5 compartments within the train. Luckily, we happened to catch hold of another TTE and explained him the situation. He rushed to our compartment, but by then, another infuriated passenger had called up the police, MLA and city DCP and was demanding justice to the Kannadigas! He warned the drunk TTE that the Railway station was in his constituency and if required he can fire him for his conduct. A round of talks happened between the passengers and the new TTE and he promised to check the other tickets. By then, our old TTE had reached the state of Nirvana and was fast asleep. By then, I looked at my watch. It was 2.30 AM in the morning and I hadn’t slept a bit!

 

Just as I was about to sleep, a cold breeze entered the train and I started shivering. As I got up to see the reason behind this sudden drop in temperature, I noticed that there were a group of hooligans, who have opened the train door for want of some fresh air. Me and another passenger in the coach, went up to them, and told them that we badly needed a sleep after seeing so many events till that time in that journey. They finally agreed to close the door and after that I got back to sleep.

 

Next day, as the train touched the outskirts of my hometown, I was glad to see heavy rain. I got down and went to the rest room to freshen up. As I opened the rest room door, there was smoke all over. I then realized that someone, who had been inside the rest room before me, must have smoked couple of cigarettes. I closed the door and did the ‘needful’. As I opened the door to come out, I saw a RPF constable waiting outside! He asked me for my ID card and ticket. When asked for the reason, he promptly told me that smoking inside the train was offence and I had used the restroom for smoking! I denied the allegation, but the constable wasn’t satisfied. He said that I have to take a nicotine test to prove myself. I told that if that’s the only way, I am ready for that. He immediately called up someone over phone to tell about his ‘catch’. Once he put down his phone, I started laughing loudly! He asked for the reason and I told that the journey was proving to be very interesting as the time progressed and I can’t wait to see it end. Luckily, my wife just looked behind from her seat, to see me having a ‘casual chat’ with the policeman J She came over near the train door and asked about the situation. The policeman enquired if I am really saying the truth that I don’t smoke. She glanced at me with a “I got your ear” look, and then confirmed that I am indeed a non-smoker. The policeman then let me off and then called up his buddy to tell this: “Hello, Andha marwadi paiyan pogai pidikka maatanam, adhanala vittuten” [“That Marwari guy doesn’t smoke it seems, so I let him off”].

 

On hearing that statement, I couldn’t stop laughing! After reaching home, I headed towards the mirror just to verify if I really looked like a Marwari J